"One of these things is not like the others..."
The last two months have been a complete and utter blur for me and I've barely begun to realize the lessons learned and all the experiences. It has literally been a rollercoaster of emotion, learning, surprises, disappointments, successes and juicy failures. It all started with the opportunity to work for the Centre for Social Innovation as their newly created position of Events Coordinator.
I am never one to back down from a challenge so I jumped at the opportunity to learn more about Social Innovation and systems change on what believe would be a on a strategic organizational level. Certainly it proved a challenge, not only because of the role, but more so of the grief and joy that constantly bombarded me over the past two months. It felt like such a roller coaster!
Words like "system change" "framing" and "push back" filled my head over the past two months, as well as pure e-mail grinding and learning to manage 4 e-mail addresses with the accompanying work culture spam that comes with them. I still do truly hate mass mailing lists because expected inevitably someone gets on a soapbox or doesn't read the pleasant reminder to "e-mail this person off list if you have an answer or are interested". These things simply did not help the 50 hour work week grind.
I have come to realize several things. One of the most important things is that I cannot stop being an entrepreneur. Its a perspective shift that apparently and unfortunately does not seem to jive well with the organizational culture. No matter how ideal you may think it would be, even if it is in alignment with your dreams and goals.
I really do feel like I a hamster in a wheel. The catch was that this time the carrot was good enough for me to be enticed. Still I've got the refreshing experience of being laid off and the integrity to know that I simply did all that I could humanly do as a contributing worker. It looks like it just wasn't "the right fit".
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